For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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