Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
