You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
