P.S. I can't hear my feet
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
