My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize