no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
