I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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