I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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