Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
