dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
