kristin has been a bad kristin
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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