dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
