She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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