Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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