Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you never un-have a 4some
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
