People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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