is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
