I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
