I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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