I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
