Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
