I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
