It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
