he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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