sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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