she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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