do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
