im having a threesome with these popsicles
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
