You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
