You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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