wakey wakey hands off snakey
the day after is always just damage control
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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