I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she told me i tasted like america
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
