i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
