We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
operation have a gay friend backfired
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My ATM looks so different sober.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Congratulations! We have a period
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
