1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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