the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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