How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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