Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
