the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
