I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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