Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize