I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
