I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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