I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
