I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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