No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
