All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
