u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I will pee on everything he values.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
