ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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