Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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