I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
