I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
