she looked like the bat from fern gully.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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