Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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