it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
