I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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