Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
