And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
