You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
