3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
