If that was your dad, he is hot
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
