He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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