Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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