I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
