I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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