i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
